In every walk of life, there’s one common denominator that often trips people up: comparison. Whether in business, relationships, or personal goals, it’s easy to get sidetracked by what others are doing, especially when it feels like they’re winning while you’re struggling. But here's a truth that might sting a little: Don’t hate the player, hate the game. Instead of focusing on what others are doing, or how they're playing the game, why not turn that focus inward and think about how you can win? Or better yet, how you can create an entirely new game for yourself—and others—to play?
When you’re stuck on others' success, you’re wasting precious energy. You're spending time wishing for their downfall, trying to understand their strategy, or comparing your behind-the-scenes with their highlight reel. But the truth is, the game they’re playing might not even be the game you’re meant to play. And that’s where everything begins to shift.
The game we’re talking about isn't some simple competition—it’s the entire system, environment, or structure we find ourselves in. This could be the way business operates, the societal expectations placed on us, or the grind of daily life that we’re all conditioned to follow. Most of us have been taught to fit into pre-designed molds, to follow the rules, and to play by standards that might not even align with who we truly are or what we want to accomplish.
When you start comparing your progress to others’, you’re holding yourself up to someone else’s version of success. But what if success, in its truest form, is about living in alignment with your values, desires, and vision? What if, instead of playing in someone else’s game, you chose to step off the field and create a new game altogether—one where the rules serve you, not the other way around?
If you're feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or left behind, it’s time to pause and assess the game you’re currently playing. Are the rules working for you? Is this game truly aligned with what you want, or are you simply following the script?
Sometimes, winning isn’t about outsmarting others or being the best player. Sometimes, it’s about simply choosing to play a game that reflects your purpose. When you shift your focus away from the players around you, and instead concentrate on mastering the game you’re in—whether it’s in business, your personal life, or your career—you begin to gain clarity on your own path. Your success is then defined by your standards, not someone else’s.
It’s easy to get distracted by the noise of other players, but the real question is: How do you win in the game you’re currently in? This might require shifting your mindset, challenging traditional norms, and finding innovative ways to approach your goals. It might mean looking at the rules and finding ways to bend or break them to suit your own needs. The more you focus on your own play, the closer you get to your desired outcome.
But here’s an even more exciting thought: what if winning means leaving the game entirely? What if, instead of endlessly competing in a system that doesn’t serve you, you create your own game—one where you call the shots? When you create a new game, you’re not bound by existing rules or expectations. You can design a system that values what you value, supports what you aim to achieve, and invites others to join you in the journey.
This could mean creating a new business model, introducing a unique product, or starting a movement that challenges the norm. The possibilities are endless when you decide to change the game rather than merely participate in it.
By stepping outside of the traditional framework, you position yourself as a leader, someone who isn’t afraid to innovate, take risks, and forge a path that others can follow. It’s about carving out a space where your values, beliefs, and goals are the center of the action.
At the end of the day, hating the game you’re in only drains your energy. Resentment, frustration, and jealousy won’t move you forward—they only hold you back. It’s the ultimate trap: focusing so much on the shortcomings of the game that you forget to focus on your own growth.
Instead, embrace the game for what it is. See it for what it can teach you. And when you feel ready, take the reins. Either play the game on your own terms, or create a new game altogether. Don’t allow the actions of others to dictate your course. You are the master of your journey, and the rules are yours to rewrite.
Remember: Don’t hate the player, hate the game. Or better yet, choose not to play the game at all—and create one where you make the rules. Whether you’re in it to win or in it to change the game, the power is always in your hands.